


Your Brother's Shotgun

by Uncannycory



Category: Homestuck
Genre: First gay experience, Frottage, M/M, Marijuana, No Gay Panic Included, POV John Egbert, POV Second Person, Recreational Drug Use, Smoking, mild biphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:28:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27789013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Uncannycory/pseuds/Uncannycory
Summary: Movie night, AKA No Sobriety Allowed Night, is the highlight of your week. Unless everyone cancels. And Dave and Karkat start making out halfway through the movie. You might as well leave.Or hang out with Dirk and smoke some more, that’s cool too. It’s not like you’ve had a crush on him before or anything.Entry for the DirkJohn Big Bang 2020.
Relationships: John Egbert/Dirk Strider
Comments: 11
Kudos: 56
Collections: DirkJohn Big Bang 2020





	Your Brother's Shotgun

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ectobaby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ectobaby/gifts).



Every Saturday was movie night, it was the highlight of your week. It was the day when all of your friends put down their work and you all picked an apartment, watching bad movies and indulging in your vices of choice until you all passed out where you saw fit. None of you really did the club scene, so it was the wild high point of your young adult college lives to stay in together to drink and get high. It was honestly what kept you going through the week.

That Saturday was different though. On Monday Rose texted the group chat saying she and Kanaya weren't making it, there was a Maryam family function she was promised to. That was disappointing but understandable. Then on Wednesday, Jade texted the group chat saying she had a group project for one of her classes and the only time they could meet was Saturday evening. She said she'd try and stop by if it wasn't too late, but there were no promises. Roxy only texted a sad face, she was away in New York so she hadn't been able to come for the last month.

So it left you, Dave and Karkat. Lucky for you it was Dave's turn to host anyway, it made it easier to leave when things got weird.

Because that happened sometimes. Rose and Jade could be busy, they jam packed their schedules full. You had done the same, but you don't think you took grades nearly as seriously as they did. You were passing with mostly Bs, so you never really stressed enough about putting off homework for movie night. 

But ever since Roxy left it made things weird. You liked Dave and Karkat, they were two of your best friends! But when you all got high and no one else was around to talk to… well it got boring watching movies while they made out in the corner. At least when there was Roxy, or hell any other singular person there, you could make fun of them. Alone? It just got depressing. 

So it was Saturday night and everyone else had to cancel and you were in the middle of some movie Dave had chosen stoned as hell and trying really hard to ignore the heavy petting in the corner. It was the good part about it being at someone else's place when this happened, it meant once the bowl was done you could peace out. Once, everyone had to leave early when you were hosting. It was real weird to try and get Dave and Karkat to leave when they started getting a little too into it on the other end of your shitty couch.

But right, finish the bowl and peace. You would walk home, maybe stop and get some snacks, then turn on Ghostbusters and enjoy a movie night sans not quite sexual sound effects. You leaned forward, grabbing the bowl from where it had been abandoned on the edge of the nightstand. It wasn't quite dead, probably one more hit. And you'd be taking that thank you very much, it's what you deserved after Dave begged you to come in the first place. You had  _ told _ him this was gonna happen.

You took the last hit and let it sit for a minute, watching the stoner movie Dave put on as it kinda just… happened in front of you. Shit was weird. Dave always pulled out the strangest shit when Rose wasn't around to psychoanalyze the shit out of him for it. You exhaled and stood up slowly.

"Headin' out!" You never really knew how to react when nights ended like that. You felt like you sounded too chipper, especially when you only really got an embarrassed grunt in acknowledgement. You grabbed your bag and walked out of Dave's bedroom door, sighing and leaning against it in relief after you clicked it shut.

God it was weird as fuck when that happened.

"Leavin'?" You jumped, almost dropping your bag when you heard the voice. You focused on the living room in front of you, trying to get your muzzy brain to comprehend a single thing for you. It was a little slow going, but you got there. It was Dirk.

Dirk wasn't normally around on movie nights. You had known Dave a long time, but Dirk always seemed to be at the edge of it all. You knew he was important to Dave. Possibly the only thing more important than Karkat or Rose. You knew that it was Dirk that got him there, in college with you and your friends. You knew it was Dirk that got him away from whatever hell Dave had hid from you all during your childhood.

It felt like you knew an awful lot about Dirk, while you really knew nothing at all. Like you didn't know he smoked too.

"Everythin' alright?" You had been too caught up thinking and you realized you had never answered. You wondered how long you had stood there being weird, but you tried not to dwell on it. Just like you tried not to dwell on the barest lilt of Dirk's accent. He had never been quite as good as Dave in getting rid of it, not that he talked to many people to get practice.

"Oh, uh, yah! Just Dave and Karkat y'know?" You were still leaning against the bedroom door and kinda motioned at it vaguely, " Dave put on some movie called… oh I don't know. Something about Dude, a car? And then he and Karkat just…" 

You made more vague hand gestures and a noncommittal noise. Dirk nodded playing with the lighter in one hand as he held a water pipe in the other. 

"Yah. That movie. It's weird." He flicked his lighter open and closed, open and closed. It was hard not to just study him when you never got to see him, much less talk to him, "If you didn't wanna head out I was just about to start a bowl."

You considered it. He had How It's Made running in the background, and you hadn't really been that psyched to go home alone. And it would be cool to talk to Dirk, Dave really did talk about him a lot. You nodded and went to the shitty futon, dropping your bag and sitting next to him. He offered you the first hit.

"Nah, I'm pretty much already there, catch up." You tried to smile brightly at him, though it felt a little crooked. Goodness your face felt weird, and you bet if you looked at your hands they'd look too big too. You'd been smoking at least once a week while in college, and these small things still got to you and made you wanna crack up.

He nodded an affirmative and flicked his zippo open again to light it. Then began the lazy pass back and forth as you listened to one Mark Tewksbury narrate how holograms were made.

Somewhere between being taught about plastic bags and solar panels you mustered up the will to speak.

"You never…" he looked at you and you were caught off guard. At some point he had taken his shades off and his eyes were so unfairly pretty, even in the low light. He made a motion as if to have you continue and ah, right. You were saying something. 

"You never talk or hang out. Whysat? You know you could join movie night with us." You let your head roll back to the back of the shitty futon. It really did suck. It was times like these you missed getting high at Rose and Kanaya's apartment. So. Many. Soft. Surfaces. Dirk's voice brought you back to the present. He didn't really sound or act particularly high, but he was honestly hard to gauge.

"A lot of people… can be hard." He chose his words carefully, which you supposed was always the case but the time he took to pick out the words now made it obvious. Okay, so maybe he was stoned. "This makes my head quiet down. It's nice."

"And you invited me because?" You were curious, you knew he didn't think poorly of you but this was new.

"Dave's bein' a dick." He shrugged, passing you the bowl he'd been sitting on. You took it and the zippo and tried to make your hands work. Gosh, you were kinda gone weren't you? And it had only really been one episode. 

You tried a couple times to light it but only managed to maybe burn your thumb a little. You sighed, offering the bowl back to Dirk. Maybe it was a sign to be done.

You heard the lighter flick on and Dirk inhale and you try to absorb what the guy was saying about plastic gasoline containers, but a pat on your arm had you looking back at Dirk. He was still holding the hit.

He motioned you close and you suddenly felt alight with nerves. You moved closer, feeling his thigh press up against your folded legs and he leaned in. All you could think about was how close his lips were to yours; you inhaled on his exhale.

He pulled away quickly enough, taking a hit of his own while you tried to pull yourself together. Sure, you had your gay/bi crisis freshman year, but never had you actually  _ done _ anything about it. It's not like you weren't willing to try people out, people just always pegged you as the straight friend. Rose said it was how you dressed, Dave said your vibes were rancid. Karkat just gave you a sympathetic grumble, you think he used to have the same problem before Dave.

But it was still new! You wouldn't say scary, you'd kissed people before and that wasn't even a kiss? He just shotgunned the hit for you because you were too high to deal with the lighter! But it was  _ Dirk _ . It was Dave's quiet (and hot) older brother. You weren't supposed to, no, you weren't  _ allowed _ to be thinking about not-kisses with him!

You were too high for this.

You were once again pulled out of your thoughts with a pat on your thigh and an offer of the bowl. You knit was almost kicked and your impulse control was almost nada and-

"Could you uh… do that again?" You looked at him with what was probably too much painful sincerity, but he seemed to take it in stride ( Strider...heh.) He flicked the lighter back open and lit the bowl again, taking a deep inhale before leaning in.

Your heart was pounding. It shouldn't be. You couldn't. You leaned in to meet him and…

His lips were so soft. He made a light noise of surprise but didn't pull away, instead you heard the piece get put on the table and his hands were on your cheeks and his mouth was open and oh. Oh. Your eyes had fluttered shut as you inhaled and fuck if feeling high ever felt so good.

He pulled away too soon and you opened your eyes, holding the hit even though you wanted to gasp for air a little after such a wonderful kiss. Even without his shades on he was hard to read, but one hand still lingered on your jaw as you exhaled. He breathed out with you.

It hit you all at once.

"Shit Dirk, I'm sorry that was probably so not cool of me I-" he let the hand on your face drop, giving your leg a gentle squeeze and you stopped. It was supposed to be comforting you think, but his hand on your thigh after kissing him did something to you. Your breath hitched a bit.

And he was leaning in and he was kissing you again, shifting to face you more as he anchored you in place. Without the goal of sharing a hit you were free to explore the experience when he parted his lips. You pushed your glasses up into your hair and tilted your head a bit more so you could press deeper, running your tongue over his upper lip. 

He shuddered, the hand not on your thigh finding its way to your shoulder, your neck, your jaw. He wouldn't stop moving and his feather light touches were distracting in the best and worst ways. You shifted to face him better as well, and if it caused his hand to slide up your thigh a little more, well, you had no complaints.

You were  _ so _ much higher than him. You just remembered your hands were a thing, and the fact that you forgot them at all was funny and stupid. You giggled into the kiss, yah  _ giggled _ , and tried to coordinate kissing and finding where on Dirk to put your hands because he was touching you so that was okay right? One hand found its way into his hair, it wasn't styled so you got to revel in how silky soft it was. Damn, why did he ever gel it when his hair was spun from like angel silk or whatever? Your other hand found a place to rest right below his ribs, though this was much less exciting than pulling at his hair ever so slightly and getting  _ the literal best noise ever. _

He moaned into your mouth and it sent shivers through you. This was so  _ good _ , why hadn't you done this sooner? All the anxiety was washed away and Dirk's hands were moving again, this time landing on your ass and hauling you into his lap. You squeaked, your hand in his hair tightening again as you moved and Dirk moaned into your mouth again and you felt like you were absolutely melting and it was so,  _ so _ good. 

You pressed against him, wishing you were a shitty Bethesda game so you could just clip into him you wanted to be so  _ close. _ Instead you settled on doing the next best thing, rolling your hips and reveling in the soft gasp that followed. He was hard. You could feel a blush crawl up your neck. You were pretty much there too.

You didn't have any real experience with dudes to speak of, so you didn't really know where to go from there. Normally if you got lucky it'd be a girl in  _ your _ lap, pulling  _ your _ hair. You tried to think ( and you tried to keep kissing and touching and-) about what would happen in those situations, what they would do for you, but imagining yourself unbuttoning his jeans and initiating that sent you into some sort of spiral. You felt yourself heating up from your ears to your toes and you clung to him tighter, grinding desperately against him. 

Lucky for you, Dirk seemed perfectly fine with taking control. He squeezed your ass, earning him an undignified squeak on your part, and managed to pull away from the kiss long enough to go at your neck. You were caught in that weird place of wanting his mouth back on yours and also moaning because that felt so good and you didn't even fucking care that you were going to have to go to class on Monday with a giant hickey on your neck. 

Your hand in his hair slid down to the back of his neck, your head tilted back slightly as he nipped and sucked along your throat. You felt light and heady, lost in the wave of sensations, your only anchor the grip you had onto him. His hands slid from your ass over your hips, stopping only to unbutton your shorts and Christ, was that you whimpering like that? The hand that was on Dirk's ribs dropped down to try and do the same, though ultimately you needed Dirk's help to undo his fly as well.

Then he was tugging at your waistband and you lifted yourself onto your knees just enough for him to shimmy your shorts and boxers down and get your dick out. You could feel yourself getting hot in the cheeks again and it only got worse when he looked up and met your eyes with his. He licked his lips. You swallowed hard.

You'd never really been self conscious about your dick, and he didn't really give you the time to let you be then either. He had pulled himself out as well and  _ gosh. _ What the hell. You knew you liked men at this point but it was completely different now that you were on a dude's lap and it was all happening for real. Your stomach fluttered in anticipation, anxiety and want knotted together and when he finally,  _ finally _ touched you it was better than you could have imagined. You didn’t know how to control the sounds coming from your mouth as he ran his thumb over the head of your dick, smearing pre everywhere.

You try not to fumble as you reach back out to touch him in return, but before you could get a grip on the situation (heheh) he was pulling away from you again, shifting you down his lap as he leaned to open the side table and fish something out. You whine petulantly. 

“God, you are so impatient Egbert.” he laughed lowly, wrapping an arm around you to pull you close again as he wiggled what was apparently a small bottle of lube at you. 

And you can’t imagine you were any more red than you already were but you could feel the heat in your cheeks and bit your lip, embarrassed. You adjusted yourself so you were as close as possible again, hands on his hip as you lean in to try and kiss him again. And again. He laughed against your mouth, a click of the bottle as he gently pushed you away and there’s his hand on your dick again and ah-

“It’s fuckin’ cold!” you're close enough that you could almost feel Dirk's low laugh as much as hear it. He gave you a few loose pumps and you couldn’t help but buck into it, you were wildly oversensitive and just that was almost enough to drive you insane. And maybe you would have been okay just fucking his hand but then he adjusted you on his lap and suddenly it wasn’t just your dick in his hand. You dug your nails into his hips, moaning because it was so good,  _ so good _ like what the hell. 

Dirk found a steady rhythm and tilted his head back against the top of the futon, his neck right there and you remembered how good it felt, his mouth on your neck, and leaned forward to plant sloppy kisses up his neck to his ear. It pinned both of your dicks between your stomachs, and you moved against him, one slick mess. 

And the noises Dirk made, oh. Oh yes. 

You raked your teeth down his neck to get another one of those sweet noises just as he pushed you back again. Your laugh was bright and clearer than your thoughts, and all you could think of was him. How this was so good here, with him. How his skin tasted of sweat and smoke but your teeth marks looked so  _ good _ on him. How It’s Made still droned on in the background, sweet white noise, and all you could think about was cracking a bad joke later about how  _ this was how it was made _ and hoped Dirk would laugh. 

And you moaned again, because his hand was on your dick and his again and it was still probably the best thing you ever felt. And you could feel him moving under you, with you, the pace picking up. The barest thought that Dave and Karkat were still in the other room flicked through your head, but Dirk's other hand snaking around to grab your ass distracted you and you were laughing again. 

And your voice pitched higher, louder as you tried to move with him. Your body was loose and relaxed and pliable, your arms felt heavy but you felt like you were floating. Leaning in you smashed your lips against his desperately as you were wound up tighter and tighter, and his tongue was tracing your lip and you opened your mouth and all at once you could feel him tense up underneath you. His moan was low and he almost sounded like a porn star, and when you finally pulled away from the sloppy kiss it was his face that finally pushed you over the edge with him.

And it was all white noise and ringing in your ears. All your nerves felt like they were alight and you held onto Dirk tightly as he jerked you off through your orgasm. It was so much, oh god, and when you finally could hear again you were babbling incoherently. You pushed Dirk off your dick with clumsy hands, leaning forward and burying your face in his shoulder as you felt your whole body go slack. You felt like you were floating, your head empty of all thoughts. That was nice. 

You don’t know how long you ended up laying there against him, glasses in your hair and everything just sorta sticky and pleasant. Eventually though, Dirk roused you from where you were lost in that half asleep post orgasm bliss to put your dick away for you and clean you up. You watched him wipe his hand on his tank top and you scrunched up your nose. 

“Gross dude…” and your voice sounded as sleepy and content as you felt. Dirk laughed quietly, pulling the tank top off over his head to wipe up the gross lube and cum mixture that had been squished onto both of your stomachs when you collapsed on top of him. 

“Yah, yah, it’s your fault too.” and his mouth was so sweet looking as it tugged into the barest hint of a smile. Leaning forward and kissing him, savoring that sweetness, was as natural as anything. 

And maybe it was just the high still but when he cupped your cheek and kissed you back, you still felt as giddy and nervous and pleased as the first time. You hoped this wouldn’t be weird tomorrow, or whenever you ended up being sober, because you liked this.  _ Really _ liked this. It just didn’t happen like this when you hooked up, and maybe Dirk deserved more than that. Would it be stupid to ask him out on a date while high?

Dirk shuffled you back onto his chest and hey, if he was offering you wouldn’t say no to that. It was a weird way to sit together, straddled in his lap, face buried in his neck, and it really wasn’t the most comfortable, but it worked. His arms were hooked around around your lower back, his face pressed into your hair. It seemed that at some point your glasses lost their perch from the top of your head, but you were close enough to Dirk that it didn’t matter. You’d find them later. 

“Dirk?” you couldn’t help but smile when he laughed as you mumbled into his neck. One hand found its way from your back to push your face just far enough away that you could see each other, but close enough to still be way in each other’s space.

“Mhmm?” the noise was drawn out and lazy, his amber eyes almost seeming to glow in the yellow halogen light. He was so fucking pretty that you almost forgot what you wanted to say, it simply wasn’t fair. 

“Wanna go on a date? Like… sober… a sober date. Or something.” and you could hardly bring yourself to be embarrassed or nervous, it just seemed like the obvious thing to ask. What with it having crossed your mind and how you couldn’t help but think he looked so good and was so nice. Despite your nonchalant hopefulness about it though, his answer still surprised you.

“Yah… hell yah.” and you could see that hint of a smile break into a large one and if that was the only thing you could ever see in your life, you’d probably die happy. You leaned in to kiss him and-

“What the  _ actual fuck-”  _

You sit up, a little peeved that your kiss was interrupted, but seeing how absolutely red with anger Dave was though disarmed you. You stared at the vaguely red blur a little stunned until Dirk nudged your hands with your glasses. 

And he seemed just as steamed unblurred, except you could then see behind him an awkward and sheepish Karkat. It took a minute for your high mind to catch up and realize how this situation looked and fuck, it looked like it was. You were sitting on Dirk’s lap, hickey on your throat and lips probably red and bruised from clumsy make outs. Dirk’s shirt was off, you were pretty sure both your pants were still undone and…

“Uhhh…” it was all that you could get out of your mouth, and you could feel Dirk laughing silently, chest moving and breath in your ear. 

“Get the  _ fuck _ out of my house Egbert.” You’d never heard him so angry, his voice was low and stone cold and you’d have been booking it if you didn’t feel almost pinned under the glare peeking over his glasses. 

“Dave…” you tried again, shifting to move off Dirk’s lap, but it only caused him to explode. Dave’s voice pitched higher, higher than Karkat’s who was trying to say  _ something _ to calm him down to no avail. 

“I said get the  _ hell out _ , what the  _ fuck. _ That’s my  _ brother John, what the fuck!” _ and he broke away from Karkat’s hands to grab you by your shirt and haul you up off the futon. You yelped, barely able to keep your feet under you as you were dragged rather violently towards the door to the apartment. 

“Dave wait just let me explain!” it was a lot, your head was reeling and when you finally were let go and you began to find your feet again it was only to meet a fist to the jaw. You don’t remember the trip to the floor, but you definitely remember looking up at Dave from there confused as all hell. This wasn’t fair, you couldn’t keep up.

While you tried to figure out where to go from there though Dirk finally seemed to come to his senses and he was off the futon and grabbing at Dave angrily. You didn’t quite know what was happening, but there was a lot of yelling involved.

“I don’t want your fucking explanation John-”

“Dave what the fuck.”

“Don’t you fuckin’ start, don’t think I’m not just as pissed at you.”

“What the hell do you even have to be upset about.”

You watched Dave wheel around and it was tense. You caught Karkat’s eyes from across the room and he looked worried and maybe still a little high. Yah, that was probably right, because you finished that bowl before sitting down and having another with Dirk. So they were both probably sobering up. You raised your eyebrows at Karkat and sat up enough to shrug. He smiled at you sort of lopsidedly with a sigh. 

“He’s my best friend! We practically grew up together. He’s younger than me Dirk, is that not weird to you?”

“We’re both adults, I don’t see the problem.”

“Of course  _ you _ don’t, you’ve always been so fuckin’ weird!”

You thought that was a low blow. Dave was getting a little mean. You finally went through the motions of getting yourself to your feet, glad that Dave at least was nice enough to avoid the glasses because navigating the Strider apartment high and  _ without _ glasses would make this more of a nightmare shit show than it already was. You managed to right yourself with the help of the edge of the TV console and Karkat who had finally edged around the yelling Strider’s to help. Sadly, this did not escape Dave’s attention.

“You, why aren’t you gone yet!” And his hands were on your arms and Karkat looked alarmed as you were shuffled to the door and with one smooth movement, dumped outside of it. 

You didn’t even have your backpack. 

Looking yourself over you sighed, trying your best to sort yourself out for the walk home. God, your shorts had still be unbuttoned, you were a fucking mess. You still felt stoned as hell, but the good mood was finally coming down as the confusion resolved itself and everything that happened settled into your conscious. You really fucked up, didn’t you.

You didn’t quite know how long you were standing there but it must not have been long because the door opened, and there Karkat was, your savior in an extra large hoodie with your backpack in his hand. 

“I think you want this-” but Karkat was cut off by a loud slam from inside, loud enough that Karkat actually looked somewhat panicked until both Strider’s could be heard yelling again.

“What’s even the problem?!” Dirk didn’t sound so relaxed anymore, if anything he had only pitched up in his anger since you had been dumped out into the hallway.

“What’s the problem? Dude, it’s John! He hasn’t figured out his sexuality from shit,  _ you  _ are just gonna end up getting hurt and what? Am I supposed to be okay with that!”

You must have looked some sort of shocked and hurt, because that seemed to actively infuriate Karkat. He flipped around in the door frame and you could see him puffing up like he did before he was about to go off. Which was nice, but it left you at the door alone again, and quite frankly more than a little hurt. 

So you shrugged your backpack on and left. 

One stop at the gas station and a quiet walk later you were back at your dorm, heart heavy and phone buzzing in your pocket. Rose and Roxy had been texting you every five or ten minutes, alternating on who it was each time. You didn’t know who let them in on the big fight though and you really didn’t want to hear the scolding if it happened to be Dave, so you climbed the stairs to the fourth floor and walked down to your little room feeling more isolated than if you had just sat on the bed listening to Dave and Karkat make out high for hours. 

You didn’t have to worry about waking anyone up, your dorm mate had moved out mid semester and the school never bothered to replace them so the whole place was your shitty little bachelor pad. It made it easy to just drop everything at the door and go and curl up on your bed with your gas station snacks and laptop. You fell asleep watching Ghostbusters. 

When you woke up, Ghostbusters was idling on the menu screen and it was pitch black in your room. You adjusted your glasses sleepily, feeling the groggy hangover from smoking too much hitting you like a brick. Wished you could’ve just slept through that, and you couldn’t even tell what woke you up-

Another knock at your door. It was far too late for visitors, so it was either someone very drunk at the wrong dorm again or an emergency. Either way you wouldn’t be getting back to sleep while it was going on, so you pushed yourself out of bed and turned on your bedside lamp, making your way to the door and opening it. 

You were surprised at who was on the other side. 

“Uh, Dirk?”

“Hey.” he nodded at you once, trying to look almost anywhere but your face. “ Mind if I crash here tonight?”

He looked worse than when you left him, though it might have just been pure exhaustion. You didn’t want the answer to be so easy now that you were sober, but it was no use denying anything anymore. 

“Yah, c’mon in.” You opened the dorm door to him and stepped back to let him inside. “You wanna watch a movie?”

And maybe it shouldn’t have felt so easy but he nodded, kicking off his shoes as you pulled out a pair of pajama pants for yourself and an extra pair for him. You wondered if you should clean off the second bed of all your shit, but when Dirk settled on the bed next to your laptop you knew it wouldn’t matter. You were both gonna fall asleep watching movies, maybe your head on his shoulder. Or his head on your lap, maybe you could see if his hair was that soft now that you had some senses back in your head. 

“Y’allright Egbert?” he had taken off his shades, setting them carefully on your little bedside table and you nod. 

“Did Dave kick you out?” He snorted at that, shaking his head. 

“It’s my apartment, he can’t kick me out. Got pretty bad there for a minute though, thought the space would help.” 

You took the time to finally divest from the clothes you crashed into bed in earlier, before crashing onto the small bed with him. It was awkward at first, the bed a lot smaller than you remembered with two people on it, but eventually you both had situated yourself and Gurren Lagann was playing on your laptop. Dirk’s head did end up on your shoulder, he slouched something terribly, but you didn’t really mind so much. You pressed your cheek into his hair and well, it was still really unfairly soft.

“Karkat said you heard what Dave said.” it was maybe an episode in and you had been on the brink of sleep again, but the question jolted you awake like maybe nothing else would. That sadness and anger you felt before seeped back out from the cracks you tried to seal it behind and it must have been obvious in how tense you got because Dirk’s hand found your free hand and squeezed. 

“Yah.” it was hard to say, it felt like your chest was going to collapse, that you heart was going to shatter. This was where everything was called off, and you wondered now if you never got any guys interested because this is how your best friend talked about you when you weren’t there. 

And normally though you find Dirk’s silence companionable, that stretch filled you with more anxiety. You wanted to just throw your laptop against the wall and hide, never deal with your embarrassing crush you acted on in an embarrassing way ever again. You didn’t though, and you would unfortunately be glad to deal with Dirk even if he wanted to crack you open and bare your heart and soul right there. 

“You free tomorrow? We can move up the date and do breakfast.”

And it was your turn to be silent, all the tension seeping from your body as you leaned in to steal the kiss that had been interrupted so much earlier at that point. 

“Yah. Hell yah.”

**Author's Note:**

> Edit: ok yall sorry i made u sad about dave being a jerk in the porn. There was gonna be like... a second piece to follow this as a series where dave makes up with john, but i have other writing projects.  
> Hear you loud and clear tho, ill try and get it out soon lol
> 
> Thank you [somnomly](https://instagram.com/somnomly?igshid=1lvz9kyliri27) for being an exceptional and amazing artist for this fic! I wouldn't have been able to do this without your support. 
> 
> As always, you can find me at [uncannycory](https://uncannycory.tumblr.com/) on tumblr  
> Comments and criticism always welcome


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